There are some damn amazing graphic artists out there, many of them are giving their work away - or rather lending it out as freeware and/or linkware. I spend many hours looking at a lot of these sites, I'm even on a lot of mailing lists so that I can get emailed everytime they create new work.
The graphic on my blog was created by
alicorna.com I am truly greatful to be able to use this georgeous image.. I truly love it. It took me an awfully long time to find just the right image for my blog...
Then there was creating the template, amazingly this one only took a few hours, unlike earlier disastrous attempts such as
My Rose Red Template I'm actually quite happy with the way that this template turned out.
Back to amazing graphic artists.. if you ever have some time on your hands, or if you need inspiration go check these guys out. (I save sites to my favourites file so I can go back and check them out on a rainy day kind of thing!) **I will be creating a list of my favourite graphics sites on my links page *see above**
Full Moon Graphics
Soul Karma
Punch Drunk Art.com
Blog Frocks
Graphic Goo
Registry Of Design
Stock Stash
I Stock
Stock Xchange
Corbis
Acclaim Stock Photos
Telecanvas
Designed To A T
Graphics Ring
Groovy Lizard
Nice Set
ok well I think thats enough links for today... Normally I'll only mention one or two links a day, but seeing as this is the first day ... well it's a little special. **All mentioned links will be added to a link database that will soon be available - it will be searchable too! **
As for me - Ive been doing the buffy thing the last couple of days, it actually gets addictive, I mean
James Marsters as Spike, who wouldnt get addicted. Most girls have a thing for bad boys, I'm not immune, I especially go weak in the knees for skinny bad boys, usually junkies, but hey vampires too, and when you throw in the broken heart.. I just simply can't resist.
Ive also noticed I'm on the downward spiral, I can feel a big old bad bout of depression, self loathing and self destructive behaviour coming on. I don't know when It'll really start but it's surely in the post - I can feel it, Its like when your standing on an underground trainstation (or subway station) and the lights start to flicker and you can hear the rumbling off in the distance - you know tha train is on its way, you dont know when it will get there but it's definately coming. Minutes later it catches you almost off guard, with a huge whoosh it's rolling in like thunder. A Powerful wind, perfumed by coal hits you just before the the train comes into view.
Well when the depression comes into view, the wind that preceeds it knocks me so flat on my ass it's hard to describe.
Right now I feel sad for no reason, I guess this is what they call melancholy, a feeling of nothingness. But because I'm still standing on the station, I havent borded the train yet, I still get happy highs and lower lows, I just know that when it hits the lower lows will go down deep into the depths of depression and I have no idea how long it will take for me to find a way out.
It scares me. Maybe one day I won't be able to find a way back out, it may just be that it's gotten the better of me. It takes hold of me like some kind of demon and just pulls me apart in ways I cant explain, one day I may not have a body left by the time it takes its leave. I may just cut the wrong vein to find its actuially an artery, I may just take one too many pills in a hope to quell the pain.
Last time I was so so so very low, lower than Ive been in recent memory, and it was for longer. I battled with my inner demons, trying to find a way out, trying to make myself scream loud enough to be heard, whilst trying to stay in control enough not to do myself more damage.
Perhaps this time I shouild just give in to it and see where it gets me... I may just end up dead.
But don't worry - I'm sure to be able to weather the storm, just hold on it could be a bumpy ride.
